A female friendship is an incredibly powerful force, especially when you hate men and you’re sharing a gun. I watched The Smokers (2000) as a pre-teen and learned about pseudo-feminism, man-rape and that smoking weed all day ain’t no thing. I re-watched the movie a couple of days ago and realized that this film, above all others, played a huge role in shaping the person I am today. The film was very, VERY poorly received and is pretty hard to find at this point but it deserves to be recognized, especially with all the buzz surrounding the upcoming release of Spring Breakers (which looks amazing) and everyone going nutso for girls with guns. This article is dedicated to spreading the glory that is The Smokers and the number of reasons you should watch it.
1. It’s about a group of teen girls who decide they’re sick of men taking advantage of them and figure that the best/most empowering/most fun way to enact revenge is raping dudes at gunpoint. WUDDUP.
(This photo is brand new to the internet thanks to J. Watts. Best moment of the entire film.)
2. This was writer/director Kat Slater’s first film. Her post-Smokers credits are strictly limited to pornos, including Young Sluts 4, 6, 7 and 8. I know what you’re wondering, but I unfortunately do not know why she didn’t direct YS 5.
3. The movie stars Dominique Swain (the greatest forgotten actress of the early 2000s), Busy Phillips (pre- Freaks and Geeks) and Keri Lynn Pratt (you might know her from the soft-core porn film most accessible to teenaged boys in a video store, entitled Cruel Intentions 2. She was the prudish girl who got off on horseback, remember? Then she says something along the lines of “So that’s why girls love horses!” Wait, you didn’t see Cruel Intentions 2?!)
4. Early 2000s fashion is the fucking wackest but is somehow making a comeback in this day and age. Although generally I don’t approve, if I see anyone walking the streets in this cowboy hat I will kiss them on the mouth. Busy Phillips is also looking pretty millenium.
5. The three main characters smoke weed like nobody’s business. They smoke weed and shoot guns and hate their lives (mostly their parents). I idolized these girls, because they were (and still are) the definition of cool.
6. Thora Birch plays a crazy, gun loving raver who tries to trick the other girls into shooting her in the head. Also astoundingly cool. But she does have this shitty monologue about partying that she recites to the rhythm of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas’, which is super stupid.
7. This guy is the worst actor and is the buffest, porniest-looking nerd I’ve ever seen in a regular movie. I definitely love him, because he’s a narb and he makes D-Swain happy in the end. I just found out that he is now famous for dating Sofia Vergara, which is amazing.
8. The film all takes place at a ritzy private school where the girls have a secret smoking room that looks like this because they are rebels.
I guess what I’m trying to say with all this is that young women today need more abrasive role models. Just find this movie and watch it already!
LameGenerator 